"Life is not just about peaks and valleys, about wins and losses. Life is about the journey. You hear that all the time. You’ve got to absorb that. You’ve got to know that. The journey has to become the destination because there is no true destination. There is no endpoint. There is no goal. All rivers run to the sea and yet the sea is not full. Life goes on; accept what life gives you. The sun rises the morning after you win the championship or lose in the first round."
— Paul Assaiante, Run to the Roar
A few summers ago I read the books "Breath" by James Nestor and “Born To Run” by Chistopher McDougall.
The overarching premise of Breath is the power of the breath, how we all breathe incorrectly and how training / exercise and general life with predominantly nose breathing can be transformational (particularly when it comes to exercise, if you can endure the challenging transition away from mouth breathing.)
"Born To Run '' - is an amazing story. In the book it talks about the lie we have been sold by Nike that we need arch supports and rubber cushioned soles to run and about how both science and the true running purists that run 100 mile races believe in the power of barefoot or old shoes, which allows the most beautifully engineered piece of the body, the foot, to do all the work of stabilization. The shoes cause the injury.
Anyway, that summer in France, I went for a morning run on the canal path behind the house. I wore my Asics that I had owned for 2+ years. I decided I would run on my toes, like the book said, I would focus on keeping my spine upright. I would tuck my ribs in (like my physio says I need to do to alleviate the pressure on my lower spine). I also decided I would run with my mouth closed for as long as I could. Oh and this was the first time I was running in 2 months and since a (recurrent) lower back injury!
So I ran. And everything was perfect. My back felt fine, running on my toes was hard, but in the right places - making me finish my strides and use my glutes and my hamstrings in the way they are meant to be and in a way I have never done. The nose breathing was hard, very hard. But no harder than it was before, if I am honest. I found equilibrium in the friction. Everything was perfect. Not to mention, I was running on the canal for the first time in 2 years. In the beautiful sunshine. In the South of France. With no music, or sun glasses. Appreciating every moment.
About 10 minutes into the run, I rounded a corner and there was a woman walking her Spaniel puppy (Luke my childhood dog for 18 years was a Welsh Springer Spaniel - so I knew them to be happy, excitable dogs. Hardly ever aggressive.)
This puppy was maybe 50lbs and on an extendable leash. Obviously all this happened in real time so relatively quickly, but I kept running towards her and the dog. I noticed a slight urgency in her expression as she reeled the extendable leash in. The dog wasn't doing anything untoward and I kept running but watching her and the dog, focussing on what she was doing and how she was reacting......
I hit the deck. Not super hard. But I went down. About 10 feet from her. I was shirtless too. On the ground, essentially in the position at the bottom of a push-up. I did a quick body scan and realized everything was fine. I looked up at the woman and she had an apologetic look on her face, even though it wasn't her fault.
The puppy was still smiling at me in the same way it had been all along. I jumped back up to my feet like I was coming up from a burpee. Looked down at my blooded, dirty, scratched stomach. Looked at my skinned hands with blood and rocks in the cuts. Then carried on running... past her... to the end of the road... and back... stopping briefly to wash my hands in the canal.
What's the lesson? Even when everything is perfect, it's so easy to focus on the wrong thing.To worry about the way other people are behaving. Worrying that something bad is going to happen when it almost never does. Instead of focusing on yourself and the path you are running on, worrying about things you can't control. BAM. The path trips you up.
That same morning before the run, my dad was cutting fruit to make a fruit salad for the kids breakfast. Right as I walked into the kitchen, he was putting a small spoonful of sugar over the freshly cut fruit followed by a larger spoonful of water. A trick he picked up from a high end french chef on one of the myriad cooking shows he learns from.
I was tired and frustrated. The kids didn't sleep well the night before - they came into my room multiple times. They were being cantankerous first thing in the morning. In my mind sugar was the culprit.
I flipped out at my dad. Lost my shit. I berated him for a spoonful of sugar while overlooking the countless pan au chocolat’s, the chocolate cake, the Haribo gummies and who knows what else that I had allowed them to have in the previous 24 hours.
When everything is perfect, I'm focussed on the wrong thing.
I came back from my run sweaty, bloody, dirty but with my biggest injury being my pride. I told my dad the story of how I fell, about nose breathing and running on your toes and the tranquility of the canal path.
When everything is perfect, focusing on the wrong thing trips you up.
I broke down into tears. I apologised. Of course he forgave me. He forgave me the moment it happened. I'm happy I told him the story and I am relieved that I apologised. Doing hard things even when we don’t want to.
I learned two important lessons that day.
Be mindful of what you are focussed on. Not what you think you are focussed on, but what you are actually focussed on. In business, in life, in your relationships. Where you focus your time, your energy - that dictates where you are going.
What you pay attention to expands.
This simple yet profound idea has the power to reshape our experiences and outcomes. When we focus our attention on something, whether positive or negative, it tends to grow in our perception and often in reality.
If you constantly focus on problems at work or in your business, you'll likely notice more issues, feel more stressed, and potentially even create new problems through your anxious mindset. Conversely, if you direct your attention to opportunities for growth or moments of success or possible solutions, you'll begin to see more of these positive aspects in your daily work life and create the positive momentum of a leader.
This concept applies across all areas of life:
The key is to consciously choose where you direct your focus. By intentionally shifting your attention to what truly matters and aligns with your goals, you can expand the positive aspects of your life and shrink the influence of negative elements.
Remember, this doesn't mean ignoring problems or living in denial. Instead, it's about maintaining a balanced perspective and consciously deciding what deserves the majority of your mental energy.
You are going to fall down, sometimes when you least expect it and when things seem perfect. Get back up, dust yourself off and keep running. The cuts don't hurt as much as they look bad, your body and your mind bounce back. You are more resilient than you can ever know.
You might lose your job, the big contract, the big game. Life goes on, the world keeps on spinning. (and for another post - no one is looking or really cares!). In the moment it might hurt like hell, or suck - the regrets and resentment can last days, weeks or even years (again - another post on this to come!). But ultimately it all works out - so focus on getting back up and back on the path.
I fell because I needed to learn these lessons, or relearn them. Or be reminded of them. Something.
This weeks challenges:
